He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
