this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
