So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
