i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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