i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
