I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
