Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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