so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
