just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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