i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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