Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
