your thong is hanging out like whoa
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
