I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
