You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You can't motorboat a personality
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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