i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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