i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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