apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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