Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
