I heard we made out
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
