butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
