Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize