I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
