I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize