Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
