Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
