your parents love me but you hate me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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