I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
