Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
