it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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