I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
