you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
