soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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