I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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