Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Let's paint friendship bongs
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
