just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
