You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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