xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i drank out of a bidet.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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