apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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