Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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