So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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