I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
