im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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