No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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