The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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