can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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