i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
