Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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