He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
