just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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