party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You're like the curious george of whores
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
