i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
