Will you blow on my dice?
Sponge bath it is.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you never un-have a 4some
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
