Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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