dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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