Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
