I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
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You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize