the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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