I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
