he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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