My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
