I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
