Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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