so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
