Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
