If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
