I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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