This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
